What’s the color of your bicycle?

What’s the color of your bicycle?

cropped-red-bicycle.jpgHello. My name is Deborah Dunn and we are going to be talking about life. More to the point, how to get one, one that makes you want to get up in the morning and hit the floor running, one that you appreciate and enjoy instead of a life where you dread waking up each morning. One that you are proud to call your own.

Now, I know for some of you that is hard. You’ve got problems. BIG problems. You think the happy ship sailed without you a long time ago. Maybe you are depressed, bipolar, in legal trouble of some kind,  in a bad marriage, grieving the loss of a loved one, worried about a troubled child, or you have a chronic illness. And to make it worse you could be dead broke.

I know how all of those things feel, not only because I’m a therapist because I’ve lived what you are living now. I even wrote a book about it: Emotional Pain: Healing the Hurting Heart. I had a brother to commit suicide in 1990, a son with Type 1 diabetes, huge financial problems, a marriage that was difficult, and bad bosses you wouldn’t believe. I was thin and beautiful (and though not rich, I had the big house and jazzy car…) for all of about 15 minutes, or so it seems now that I’m looking at my life from the perspective of someone who is considered a senior citizen. But of course, those things didn’t make me happy because I wasn’t emotionally healthy. Sometimes I wasn’t even physically healthy. Starvation diets, tanning until I was fried to a crisp, dangerous chemicals, you know the drill.

But I’m happy and healthy now and that is all that matters.

In fact I’m loving my life now, in spite of my weight, my bank account, and my age.  I have a fulfilling career, I’m a published writer, and I sell a few paintings every now and then. Most of all I am happily married, 47 years now and I have three gorgeous, precious grandchildren.

The truth is, the only thing that makes me sad is that I wasted so much of my life being unhappy. Trust me, I would have gotten here a lot sooner if someone had clued me in on a few things.  I worried too much, made excuses, chased after the wrong dreams.

I know this sounds trite, but it all starts with understanding where you really want to go, and more importantly, who you want to be. So many people, particularly women, don’t have a clue what they want their lives to look like. They just chase the next brightest looking thing.  They are torn in so many directions. Everything they read, watch, and see around them tells them that what they have isn’t good enough, far from the romantic dream they believe is just out of reach. Or they had parents who told them they would never amount to anything so they spend their lives trapped in that lie…

No wonder we all are confused.

Self-actualization. I haven’t heard that term in a long time. But that is what this blog is about. It’s all about helping you figure out how you can be happy–in spite of the doubts, in spite of all the fears, in spite of the obstacles that have hindered you–your childhood, your husband, your troubled child, your grief, or your finances.

Don’t get me wrong. There are no shortcuts, no magic fairy dust. I’m not a snake oil salesman either. I won’t preach or fuss at you to pray, though I pray every day of my life.

And we won’t get heavy or ponder the big deep things of life, not for the most part anyway. We will stay upbeat and positive. Most of all I will share my journey with you–the joy of an ordinary life of a woman who is blessed with extraordinary adventures. But in case you think I might be blowing sunshine up your butt,  my sharing will be authentic and honest, for every now and then I have bad days too. But when I do I won’t whine, I promise you.

I like to think of this place as a daily gathering of tribal women around the watering hole–a place to dispense comfort, friendship and wisdom in small doses. For isn’t that how we grow, in increments? Perhaps if I open a window into my world and give you a glimpse of my daily life you will start to see the big picture of how you can get there too. Because it is the little things every day that take us where we want to go. Every decision, every purchase, every choice of what to watch, what to read, what to eat, what to say–all these things mold your life into what it will eventually be.

Want to learn more about how I travel, write, and paint? I’ll share those things too because honestly it is those things that have helped save my life. Developing my creativity was the key God used to open the prison doors.

Oh, about the bicycle. That’s my personal symbol for freedom, confidence, courage, and moving forward. Every girl needs a red bicycle, if only in her dreams…